Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Cheater, Cheater, Liver Eater

If the executive European hyphenated-three-named chef at the stuff-shirt fancy pants eatery that you and your bourgeoisie social circle dine at serves foie gras, shame on him. If you opt to select that poster item for animal cruelty from the menu to prove you know how to pronounce ridiculous sounding cuisine and French delicacies, shame on you. The French have a word for force-feeding too. Only they don’t serve it up on fine china, but it’s used for torture, anorexics and hunger-striking prisoners. Can you say gavage?

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Just remember, you are what you eat which, in this case, is the engorged liver of a brutally abused duck that has been force-fed through an esophageal tube. I’m no peta rep, but I do believe in Karma.

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Also making news is another living creature who has been ‘unknowingly’ injected with size and value-aiding elements. That’s right, America’s favorite sensitive slugger, the new home-run champ Mr. Barry Bonds. High fives and chest bumps all around. Last night Bonds knocked number 756 to the back of AT&T Park, breaking Hank Aaron’s 33-year record and sending a very important message to today’s youth. You see kids? This is what drugs do to you. They make you a winner.

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